Coming home from the World Race a little over a year ago was weird. In so many ways. As I’ve mentioned before, I arrived home loving myself and my body for the first time in years, and it felt great. And because I felt so great, I was heartbroken to watch the women around me struggle with self-hatred. I had been in a sort of isolation for those eleven months I was away. Without access to television commercials, magazines, billboards, or a full length mirror, I had nobody but God and an incredible group of loving friends to help shape my identity. And then, I came back to America. And…

I almost beat up a plastic surgeon the other day. Okay, not really. I mean, can you imagine me trying to throw a punch? The only thing I would damage is my own hand. I was driving in the car, listening to the radio, and a commercial advertising a “mommy makeover” came through the airwaves. At first I thought maybe it was going to offer a massage for women who are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders, or pedicures for women who are having trouble touching their toes without pain after a difficult c-section. Cool, I thought. Moms deserve to be pampered and cared for. But nope,…

One of the most annoying days as a Christian is the day you realize that you are totally like the Israelites. You spend your Sunday school years sitting back, eating popcorn, watching the story of the Exodus play out on the flannelgraph board, thinking, “Haha, suckas, get your act together! What losers.” And then, one terrible and wonderful day your eyes are opened and you realize that you are, in fact, one of those “losers.” I’ve been thinking about manna lately. The story is found in Exodus 16 and goes like this: the Israelites are in the desert and are complaining (again), so God, in all His goodness says, “I…

This is a particularly ugly season for South Dakota. The weather has been nice for the past few days, which I am so very thankful for. But then again, it could always blizzard tomorrow. For now, though, the snow has almost melted away. But instead of the green grass my heart is longing for, everything is brown, and muddy, and damp, and broken. It’s like the earth is covered in scars sustained from a bitter fight with a long winter. The trees are the ugliest. We don’t have all that many evergreens around here. Most of our trees are the kinds with, well, leaves. In the wintertime the frost clings…

“Winter makes everything terrible,” I thought. I was sitting at an intersection, getting ready to pull out of the grocery store parking lot, watching a little car struggle to make its way up the hill. It was covered in splotches of ice and snow and grime collected when one too many trucks passed it on the interstate on a slushy day. The windshield was clear, but there was still snow on the roof and the hood and icicles clinging to the bottom of the doors and bumper and mud flaps. It seemed to be shaking as it passed, as if to say, “No, please no! It’s far too cold to…

Reading my old journals is hilarious. And terrible. Especially my journals from middle school and high school. And college. So basically most of them. I open them as if I’m peeking into a cage holding a wild animal- slowly, holding the journal at a distance, one eye open, as if I’m afraid the anxiety might jump off of the page and attack me. The paper is absolutely dripping with worry and restlessness. Those of you who know me well know that attaining peace in my mind is something that I struggle with from time to time. The Lord did so much to bring healing in that area of my life…