Spoken Word: Fear

Since returning from the World Race, I’ve struggled with anxiety and fear. I guess this is my way of kicking it in the shins.

Click here to listen: fear

Remind me to trust You, Lord

because it seems I keep forgetting

letting

the old fears sink in

again

listening to a voice that isn’t Yours.

It’s a voice that sounds a lot like mine.

But that’s just part of the lie, isn’t it?

That whisper of “quit.”

That whisper of “sit”

right where you are

but not in a peaceful way

that whisper of “stay”

but not to be at rest.

That whisper that says I should be stressed.

Because failure is assured

and so is disgrace.

It keeps me in my place.

Paralyzed.

Afraid I’ll make the wrong move

so I don’t move at all.

If I don’t move, I can’t fall.

But then that’s all

my life becomes.

Bowing down to fear like it’s my god.

I follow its every command

until I can barely stand

under its weight.

Listening to that voice that tells me it’s my fate

to live in anxiety

ruled by this god with a little “g.”

Must be nice to have an idol

you can just throw out the window

and go

on with your life.

Mine is more like some nasty

invisible fiend I can’t shake.

And all it wants to do is take

my peace

my promise

my identity.

But see,

it can only take

if I give.

I forget that it’s my choice

who to serve while I live.

Who and what am I feeding?

What kind of field am I seeding?

Anxiety better watch its back

because I’ve got the cure.

Trust is the antidote to all my fear.

So meet me here,

Lord,

meet me here.

Remind me of Your voice.

Raise its volume

so that I have no other choice

but to listen to my Shepherd,

hanging on to Your every word.

Remind me to trust You Lord.

Because sometimes I forget

Who You are,

and who I am.

And all the things You’ve done,

and all the battles You’ve already won,

and all the promises You’ve made,

and all the ways You’ve saved the day.

Okay.

Remind me trust You, Lord.

And remind me that I belong to You.

Not to some god with a little “g,”

but to the One who’s ransomed me.